Digital Digital Detox: Why I Banned Social Media for a Few Months

My name is Maureen, I'm a 20-something and I quit all social media. I might as well have told you I'm a unicorn, right? How could a millenial voluntarily eliminate her existence? You know it as well as I do, if it isn't on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. then it didn't happen. We validate ourselves through social media, which feeds into this self-generated insecurity to prove to everyone else that our lives are better than theirs. (Layering filters on filters helps, too.)

In March, I started to realize that I came to a point in my life when I stopped doing things for myself and was living my life to please others. I'm an ENFJ (although I lean more toward the Introvert side) so my tendency is to please others, stay organized, create plans, and value feelings. That said, I fell into the trap of making it my mission to make other people happy that I stopped doing things to bring joy to my life. And having social media didn't help, either. But once I reached a point in my life when I found that I wasn't necessarily doing anything to brag about--or better put, actually living my life authentically because getting your Starbucks cup back with your name botched on the side of it is an everyday thing, people--I realized it didn't matter if anyone else knew about it.

Now I know that this blog in and of itself is ironic, because it deems worthy social media presence since I'm putting my energy into good use. 

And this psychological phenomenon is being written about, too. Just type in 'tech detox' or 'digital detox' and you'll find published articles on how to cope without checking your phone every five minutes. Psychology Today suggests the strategy reduce, remove, replace--the latter being a step I particularly like. And honestly, it's the natural transition from removing the objects that create distance between us to spending authentic face-to-face time, cultivating relationships with people we think we know based on the image they've built through their social media presence--wait, now I get FaceTime.

But I digress. When I made it my weekly intention to have more authentic time with friends and family, I took the time to make plans with people and block out time to engage in a real life activity, like happy hour, dinner, brunch--I really like food guys!--barre class, or painting class. And what I found was that I didn't miss knowing irrelevant details about people I didn't care about (and didn't care about me). By electively eliminating the clutter of people I went to high school with or met at a party for five minutes, I realized that people I've known for years and actively developed friendships with were the ones who mattered most. It didn't matter how many "friends" or "followers" or "likes" I had; those who took the time to get to know me were the people who deserved my time most.

I leave Thoreau's musings from Walden as you plan your digital detox:

Our life is frittered away by detail. I say, let your affairs be as two or three, not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen... Simplify, simplify. Instead of three meals a day, if it be necessary eat but one; instead of a hundred dishes, five; and reduce other things in proportion.